With the busy panhellenic recruitment season over, I find myself reflecting on a time not too long ago when I pledged Pi Beta Phi. As a freshman, I was incredibly nervous and self-conscience about joining a house full of people I didn’t know. Getting a bid from a house where I didn’t know a single upperclassmen was daunting, but I assured myself that the hard part was already over: recruitment. Within Pi Phi, I could count on one hand the number of girls in my pledge class I even recognized. Many people, especially those with little to no experience in Greek life, assume joining a sorority means you have instant friends. Suddenly you’re forced into sisterhood with 90+ girls you probably don’t even know.
“Pledgeship” for a sorority is vastly different than the notion most people believe. Apart from the meetings you attend to learn the history and values of your new chapter, you don’t really have a formal way of getting to know your supposed “new best friends.” Most bonding is done informally through flower-ins, pre-games at an upperclassmen duplex, or coming to the house to eat lunch or dinner. This was one of the most intimidating experiences for me because I was already pretty comfortable with the friends I had and was not at all motivated to branch out of my bubble. Combine that with an incredibly busy schedule, and you have your own sisters asking if you’re a Pi Phi because they’ve never seen you before.
I want new members to learn from the mistakes I made as a freshman. I’ve felt that I made the wrong decision choosing the house that I did. I created a vision in my head of what being in a sorority should be, and it did not live up to reality. Many young women, and even men, are now probably wondering the same thing: why did I choose this house because it feels like a mistake. You probably feel alone in your thoughts or are scared to admit it to someone else in your pledge class, but I guarantee there are other people feeling the exact same way. I struggled my second semester to fit in and make an effort to be involved with others in my house. I considered the possibility of dropping and making my way as an independent, but if I can give one piece of advice to new members, it is to stick with it.
After living in the house for only a semester, I discovered my best friends, and they were all people I had never encountered before. Everyday, I have the opportunity to live with some incredible women I never would have had the chance to meet had I followed through on my belief that I didn’t fit in. I encourage everyone, in sororities and fraternities, to at least give Greek life a shot. You picked a house for a reason, and even though it might feel like a mistake now, the house also picked you.